Touching and Secrets

Good and Bad Touching
People often touch each other, and physical contact can help people feel safe. Touching can make you feel important and loved, like when your mom hugs you or when someone strokes your head. Parents or guardians also touch their children for hygienic reasons – they may wash them, clean a wound, or change their clothes. These types of touches are considered “good.”
“Bad” touching, on the other hand, is unpleasant, sometimes painful, or disrespectful. Examples of “bad” touching include pushing, pulling someone’s ear, shoving, kicking, and so on. “Bad” touching also includes touching areas of your body covered by your underwear. These areas should only be touched for hygiene or medical reasons.
Secrets
Children, just like adults, have secrets. And just like touching, secrets can be good or bad. A “good” secret might be buying your mom a present and keeping it a surprise for her birthday. Or maybe you and your parents decide to visit grandma, and you keep it a secret from her to surprise and make her happy.
A “bad” secret is something that might make you feel ashamed or that someone has firmly told you not to tell, such as if a friend stole something, someone at school hurt another person, or if someone touched a part of your body that made you feel uncomfortable.
“Bad” secrets can feel troubling and heavy. They can be scary, harmful, or put a child in a risky situation. You can stay safe by following safety rules and talking to a trusted adult.